毎年節分には、「鬼は外、福は内」と叫びながら豆を蒔く行事が各地で行われる。邪気を払って家族の無病息災、家内安全を願う伝統の行事だ。神社やお寺でも見かけるが、家庭で炒り豆を蒔いたり、年齢の数だけ食べたりした人は多いのではないだろうか。わが家も例外ではない。 節分といえば、忘れられない記憶がある。子どもがまだ2歳の時節分の日に自宅で豆をまいていたら、なぜか子どもが鼻の穴に豆を入れ、取れなくなってしまった。 最初はたかが豆ではないかと軽く考えていた。しかし鼻の穴を覗くと、小さな豆がすっぽりはまっていて手に負えそうもない。すぐ近くの小児科のお医者さんに診てもらったら「うまく入ったねえ。どれどれ」と言いながらしばらくいじっていたが、「こりゃあ、だめだ」と匙を投げてしまった。紹介してもらった最寄りの耳鼻咽喉科医院に子どもを連れて行ったけれど、その先生もほどなく「手に余ります」と言って、車で30分ほどかかる総合病院に行くよう勧めた。鼻の穴の豆は水分を吸ってだんだん膨らんでくる。ちょっと前まで「鬼は外、福は内」と楽しく過ごしていたのに、夜更けに車で郊外を彷徨うとは、まるで「外」に追い出された「鬼」ではないか。 病院に着くと、若い（注1）当直医や（注2）看護婦さんが出迎えてくれた。子どもの患部を診るや否や（注3）評定が始まった。「わあ、あるある。あっ、中に入ってしまった」「いっそのこと、奥に押し込んだらどうだろう」「気管に落ちると危ないですよ」「全身麻酔をかければ大丈夫でしょう」…。若い医者たちの無神経な会話を聞いているうち、私はだんだん頭に血が上ってきた。ちょっと待って欲しい。どんなに不肖でも、可愛いわが子に変わりはない。（注4）モルモットとは違うんだよ。小さな豆が起こした騒ぎは次第に大ごとになっていくようだった。 しかし事態はあっという間に（注5）一件落着した。耳鼻咽喉科の部長医師が急遽駆けつけて、例の豆を簡単に取り去ってくれたのだ。さすがは部長先生。医療の世界だって経験と技術がものを言うのだ。当直医や看護婦らは子どもを囲みながら笑顔を見せている。私もホッとした。そのとき付き添ってきた妻がポツンとこう言った。「私も子どものころ、鼻に豆を入れて大騒ぎになったのよね」。ふむ。わが家の厄災は「（注6）母子相伝」の呪いだったのか。病院の待合室で、①私はしばし呆然としてしまった。
Every year on Setsubun, the tradition of scattering beans while shouting 'Demons out, fortune in' is practiced in various parts of the country. It is a traditional event meant to ward off evil spirits and wish for the health and safety of the family and household. You may see this at shrines and temples, but many people have likely also scattered roasted beans at home or eaten a number of beans equal to their age. My family is no exception. When it comes to Setsubun, I have an unforgettable memory.
On the day of Setsubun, when my child was still only two years old, we were throwing beans at home when, for some reason, the child put a bean into their nostril and it got stuck. At first, I thought it was no big deal since it was just a bean. However, when I peered into the nostril, I saw that the small bean was wedged tightly and seemed impossible to remove. I took the child to a nearby pediatrician, who said, 'Well, that's a good fit. Let me see,' and fiddled with it for a while, but eventually gave up, saying, 'This isn't going to work.'
I took my child to the nearest ENT clinic I had been referred to, but the doctor there soon said, 'This is beyond me,' and recommended that we go to a general hospital about a 30-minute drive away. The bean in the nostril was absorbing moisture and gradually swelling. Just a little while ago, we were happily celebrating with the phrase 'Demons out, good fortune in,' yet now we are wandering the suburbs in the car late at night, like a 'demon' that has been driven 'out.'
Upon arriving at the hospital, the young on-call doctor (Note 1) and nurses (Note 2) came out to greet us. The moment they began examining the child's affected area (Note 3), the evaluation started. “Oh, there it is. Ah, it has gone inside,” “Why not just push it further in?” “It’s dangerous if it falls into the trachea,” “It should be fine if we administer general anesthesia”... As I listened to the insensitive conversation among the young doctors, I gradually felt my blood rising. Please wait a moment.
No matter how disobedient, my child is still my child. (Note 4) It's not a guinea pig. The commotion caused by the small bean seemed to be escalating. However, the situation was quickly resolved (Note 5). The department head of Otolaryngology rushed over and easily removed the bean. Truly a department head. In the medical world, experience and skill also matter. The on-call doctor and nurses were smiling while surrounding the child. I also felt relieved.
At that moment, my wife, who had accompanied me, quietly remarked, 'I also put a bean in my nose as a child and caused quite a commotion.' I see. So the misfortune in our family was a 'mother-to-child' curse (Note 6). In the hospital waiting room, ① I was momentarily stunned.
